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On the equinox

In the meantime, there’s still plenty of northern lights to enjoy, and the deep blue daylight you get when there is no sun. If we’re lucky, snow will amplify what light there is, and the golden flames of candles and fires seem extra warm surrounded by so much blue. The best thing is to stand briefly outside on a freezing day, your breath a white cloud around you, the cold biting your face and hands and any exposed skin. Everything is very still. Then you run inside again, and your home suddenly seems much warmer and brighter and cozier than it was before. Bonus points if there is hot chocolate waiting.

As for the spring equinox… to be honest, to me it tends to be more a hope for spring than the actual thing. March is a dreary exercise in patience up here, mostly wet and grey and still pretty dead. But the return of the sun helps. Mum and I will unironically text each other, marvelling at how “it’s light until four now! You can still see some blue in the sky at five!”.

I also like how the first quarter of the year feels crisper, sharper, simpler, in a way that’s almost a relief after the winter holidays. It’s back to the basics and the everyday. Even though my own days don’t follow work/school schedules, it’s still a good time for routines. It makes me want to plan things. Fix things. Decide things (though not in January. January is for blankets and tea and sitting still).

The summer solstice is glorious, with midnight sun and wildflowers and newly hatched seagull babies. You can smell the ocean again, freshly mowed grass, and warm earth and sun lotion and barbecues and linen. Can you tell I love our summers? There’s no point in going to bed, the sun is always up and so are we. Young women in party makeup stand crowded outside bars, glittering in the midnight sun. Our golden hour is basically all night, perfect for impromptu photo shoots, or just generally feeling like you’re in a movie. There will also be rain, but it’s summer rain. And it smells so good when it’s over.

Right now we’re at the autumn equinox. Sometimes I marvel at how autumn is described on Instagram, with the joyful choruses of “trench coat but no tights!” and “finally not so hot!”. After the hot summers some of you people have, I’m sure it’s a relief, but it’s very far from our autumn. Here it’s a handful of glorious days, with crisp air and blue sky and stunningly orange and red trees, before the first storm strips most of it away and it’s time to unpack all the wool (if you could be bothered to pack it away at all). No wonder so many people up here dread the coming months, with their relentless dimming of the lights until the holiday season.

You know I’m not one for glib positivity, but for me the only way to get through the winter without feeling like I’m slowly suffocating, is to embrace it.

Like, fuck it, it’s going to get dark and cold and slow, might as well go all in. It’s the time for moody fantasy books and witty period dramas, for film soundtracks and misty moors, beeswax candles and cello music. I’ll fill the freezer with a fresh batch of potato soup, because finally the potatoes pack some punch again. I can revel in letter writing, yarn crafts, complaining loudly about the weather and sending 😩-emojis to any southern friends. The best activity is watching the dusk approach without turning on the lights. All the wool. I see your hot water bottle and raise you an electrical heated blanket.

So have courage, northern-hemisphere folks. This can be cozy and quiet and somewhat comforting. And even when it’s not, it will pass, if we grit our teeth and wash our hands and wait. Southern-hemisphere folk, you know what I mean (and soon you’ll be where we are right now!).

Round and round we go.

10 Comments

  1. Gudrun says

    Oh, the description of sunny summer nights has me all wistful this equinox – so eloquently put. Hot chocolate and wool are the only remedies now.

    • Writing this from the future (because yes, I’m embarrassingly late at replying to comments), I’m still yearning for the summer! Fortunately it’s a bit closer now than it was in September.

    • Thank you, Marcy! It’s January as I’m writing this reply (shame, shame!), and I can confirm that it DID help on my winter blues. I don’t think it’s possible to eradicate them 100%, but it wasn’t as bad as previous winters have been. I hope you’re getting through winter okay as well, whether you’re in the second half of it or yours is slowly approaching 😅

  2. Linda Jensen says

    Thank you. Very grateful to have found your blog again. Multiple gifts in these three entries—‘Dickinson’, ‘Midsummer Mind’, seasonal ruminations and just your general writing style and mindset. And you’re right: the attrition rate for bloggers seems to be increasing.

    • You’re very welcome, Linda! Here’s hoping for more bloggers again in the future (a friend and I suspect they’ll make a comeback quite soon!).

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